Simon Parkes at AMMACH – Part 2 of 4
interviewed by Joanne Summerscales & Miles Johnston
in Whitby, North East Yorkshire
July 30th, 2011
Simon Parkes at AMMACH – Part 2
Simon Parkes discusses his highly detailed and complex contacts with Extra & Interdimensional beings called Mantis, and the Greys and Reptilians. In Part 2 of this highly detailed interview Simon Parkes continues to discuss the details of his early life with Reptilians, Greys and the Mantis nonhuman extra-dimensional beings.
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Simon Parkes at AMMACH – Part 2
Joanne: Hello. We are back with our next part of our interview, number two, with Simon and we’re going to move a little bit further forward in time now because there is so much to cover and that maybe we will come back to Simon another time, but we are just going to allow Simon to begin where he feels we have some really important information to come through.
Simon: Okay, right. I think I’d like to quickly jump forward to 1971. It’s one of the most complex experiences that I’d had.
Joanne: Can I just ask you, just for a sort of a reference point of your age?
Simon: About eleven and three quarters.
Joanne: About eleven, okay.
Simon: It’s when I made an agreement with them; I actually remember making an agreement with them. I’d been taken on board the craft, and the being…it’s a mantid being again, with a purple cloak, the same one that has told me, I’m your mother, about 9 foot tall. I’m hysterical; I’m screaming and crying because I’m on this spaceship, what appears to be a school taking place, where children are being taught. They’re all girls, I’m the only boy there and I’ve been told to, “Wait, because someone is going to come and collect you, you’re not coming to school, you are going to be collected” and then this being sort of marches towards me. I don’t run away because in the back of my head I think, I know this creature. And then he walks straight up to me, looks down, and puts his two hands on my shoulders and says, “Would you like to be like us? To have knowledge and understanding, to know the future and see the past and…” But I never let him finish the sentence because I’m so interested in the past and the future I say, “Yes!” Because I really want to know about the past and I really want to know about the future. And as soon as I say that, his hand drop down off my shoulder, takes my right hand and he says, “Then come with me”
Now, this is really important because it empowered me. I realized that I had made an agreement. No longer was it a case of them coming and taking me and doing stuff and dropping me back. I’ve actually agreed to it. Now I’ll be honest; with these things, you give them an inch and they’ll take a mile. So, I didn’t agree to go on a spaceship or I didn’t agree for an implant, etc, etc, but they have implied…the implication is that I have. Because I’ve made an agreement, they’ll now interpret that in a very wide angle. But what I would say to you is that most people who are experiencers do not remember the agreement, they are not permitted to remember it. And the reason for it is that this is your get out of jail free card (Simon points to the drawing)
Joanne: In what terms?
Simon: Ah, I’m not going to say, because they might be extremely cross with me. But I’ll tell you this, If I bought a sofa from a shop and I sit on my sofa and I say this is bloody uncomfortable, I don’t like this, I don’t want this sofa anymore, I want out. And I go to the shop and I say, I want my money back, take the sofa away. They say, “Where’s your receipt?” “Where’s the receipt?” I haven’t got the receipt, I can’t remember it, Ah, then you can’t. (Simon picks up the picture and shows it to Joanne) That’s my receipt. Now the only reason they’ve let me have the receipt is because they know I won’t use it. They know that I won’t cash it in to be out; so I’ve been permitted that because they are so confident that I won’t want to jump ship. So, that’s important that I believe every experiencer has an agreement, but they’re not permitted to remember that agreement.
Simon: And I think that’s…there’s always free will…
Joanne: Do you think that knowledge has changed your relationship?
Simon: Well, it’s made me feel better because until I realized that, it’s a case of, well, who told you to come and get me? Who gave you permission? You don’t have permission to do that. But I don’t feel that…I never felt that very much. When I was in their world…because I’ve never been badly treated, I’ve always been…in fact they’ve been nicer to me than human kind have. And that’s a horrible thing to say, but it’s actually the truth. So, I’ve never ever been unhappy in their care at all. But when you’re in your own world here, and you’re thinking about it, you think, well, well who said they could come and do that? and you think, well who gave you the right to do that? Well, I did. I gave them the right to do it.
Joanne: And do you think that was a contract for just from this life or do you think that was a soul contract from eons ago that is being reactivated or…?
Simon: I don’t know. (Simon to the picture) This is a…what I call…this is the body and soul, the soul and body agreement. There’s more…this is not just an ordinary soul agreement. In this case, I’m being offered – Not you can become us, but would you like to be…would you like to experience what we…
Joanne: Be like us.
Simon: And I believe that what I gave the agreement to was for the right to have my soul taken out of my body, put into one of their bodies, and then to interact as one of them for a short period of time, and experience what it’s like to be an extraterrestrial of this faction, of this group. And then my soul is put back into my body. And I believe that was the real crux of that agreement.
Joanne: Okay, so have you had that experience?
Simon: Several, several. I mean, sorry Joanne, that’s why it’s…that’s why I have a problem. I don’t get…I know lots experiencers get very emotional about talking about it, I don’t. The only time I get emotional is with people who are abducted, particularly women, and have things done to them because, although it’s very difficult for people to accept, I have in their body, been on an abduction. I have seen exactly what it’s like. And when you’re there in their body…
Joanne: Sort of overseeing the process.
Simon: Oh, absolutely, because they…the hierarchy of the mantids…the lowest is the doctor, the second is the pilot, the third is the master, and these are the ones with the purple cloaks. There are high ones above them, but they are the coordinators (Simon points to the drawing) but whenever you are doing an abduction you always have a doctor with you; always have doctors with you.
Joanne: Have you had any experiences where they have interacted with human collusion? So, whilst your taking…whilst the abduction is going on with humans, whether the humans…are the humans being involved.
Simon: Yes, yes. That would be the nineteen…this is the same one that…
Miles: You’re referring to MILABS? military factions?
Joanne: Possible, or and or any other faction of human interaction?
Simon: One that I’m aware of, that’s the 1971…too long to go into now, but basically I’m put into what I call an overblown dentist’s chair; very big chair that looks just like a dentist’s chair and a big screen in front of me and lots of interaction through the screen, and in the corner are five human scientists and their in white coats. There’s four men and one woman working on some machines. And behind them is a corridor and another five or six people, some in uniform. There’s one lady there with like a telephony, she’s got the thing on her head, and like she can speak. It’s not like…you know this is…
Joanne: Are you aware that you are in this country, or do you have any sense of that?
Simon: No, this…no this is…
Simon: Because it’s out of context, because I haven’t talked about this one.
Joanne: Yes. Okay.
Simon: This is…I ask…there’s…the room is controlled by a computer and I ask the computer what it’s name is and the computer says, “I haven’t got a name, would you like to name me?” and I say, “No, I’m not going to name you. Am I on a spaceship or a fixed installation?” and it’s reply is, “Both” which isn’t helpful, but it’s truthful. So, it’s actually a spaceship, but it’s a self contained pod where there’s time…all I know is there’s time involved and I’m being tested. I have a crew…I have a crew, but it’s not flying in the true sense of the word and I’m given scenarios that play out on the screen. There’s one where there’s a war going to start and I have to avert that war. And I am given bare facts, and then I have to go around my crew and get more information and make a decision.
Joanne: So, these are…it sounds like these are sort of instructional, tuitional…
Simon: Joanne, I don’t know what they are. All I know is that I’m being tested. I know it’s a test because before this, I met the Great One. He’s the mantid in charge of all mantids, and he’s about 12 feet tall, and he has a throne and he has two reptilian bodyguards, and when he…he’s on the screen, when he talks to me everyone else has to leave the room. No one else…and mum here (Simon points to the picture) mum says to me, “I’ve never even seen the Great One…I’ve never even seen the Great One” So, everyone is ushered out of the room and it’s just me and this dentist’s chair and the screen and the Great One. And the Great One talks to me and says, “There’s a task coming up. I accept you into the family” is what he says. He says, “It was preordained that I accept you, but the task is not fully known. If the task fails, all is lost” But he says to me, “The light is strong in you young one, be brave”
So, he’s the greatest and he has an insignia, it’s twelve inches long, it’s like a cross…(inaudible) and there’s a beautiful green gem, like a cabochon shape, beautiful green gem here and two purple ones here (Simon points to his chest to demonstrate) And when he leans through the screen, it’s like 3D gone made. It’s just like real, as if he’s just come out of the screen. He just leans out and it’s like he is really in front with you. He’s not, but it’s the technology that’s projected. So, that was a great honor and I recognize him as my superior in rank terms, but not in life form terms, because we’re all equal.
Simon: They’re not greater than us, but in rank terms, in terms of the family, he’s the highest one.
Joanne: Do you have any sort of sense or understanding of where they come from or where they’re situated?
Simon: No, I’ve…no, I’m probably the worlds worst person here, because a couple of times where they’ve asked me, “You haven’t asked my name” and I say, “I don’t want to know your name, I’m not interested in your name” and if they have ever mentioned a home planet, I don’t remember it. I’ve only got about two or three names of all the things. I think the thing is that, when they come, we have a job to do. We have a job to do and you know, some of my more recent experiences, I’ll say to them, “What are we going to do today?” They’ll say, “I’ve come to show you things” and I’ll…cause, your not quite in your right mind, and I’ll say, “Oh, goodie!” This is odd because I’m not a kid, but “Oh goodie, I like it when you show me things” So, it’s very structured. This is what you do and this is how you interact, and this is what should happen, and then they bring me back. So, I’m not like one of these people that they’ll sit and talk to me about the future of the earth, etc… it’s this is the roll you have with us. This is what you’ll do.
Joanne: And do you know what that is? Are you able to say…
Joanne: …what it is or describe it?
Simon: Yeah, it’s dead simple, because what they’ve said to me is that I exist in two worlds, that’s what they’ve said to me, you exist in two worlds, and your genetic material is able to survive in our world. We have been able to take your soul out of your body, put it in one of ours. Therefore we wish to make hybrids of your genetic material because they will last longer on the earth. Because up to very recently, hybrids don’t last, they just don’t last long.
Simon: So, that’s…
Miles: What, thirty six hours? Do you get about thirty six hours?
Simon: I don’t know.
Miles: or a day, two days, three days?
Simon: No, I would say weeks. I wouldn’t say that short. It certainly said you get weeks out of it or else they would be…they’ve been at this for thousands of years, I’d really expect them to have moved on from that. I would say that what happens from the little bit I do know, it isn’t that the body degenerates, their minds go.
Joanne: Oh, is that right.
Simon: Hybrids minds go, yes.
Joanne: Oh, interesting.
Simon: We would call it insanity. But that’s what will happen to them…but it’s fairly unpleasant. So, that’s what their after with me, and it’s odd that part of this deal is that I experience in their bodies. So, for instance, in their bodies I will give orders to greys; little tiny…you know, what I called the little helpers when I was small, and I hate them because their job is just to do. They…little greys are there to serve, and that’s awful, because as from a human perspective now, you know, these things do have some humanity in them. I’m talking about the robot greys.
Simon: They do have some humanity…
Joanne: Some, yes.
Simon: … it may be very small. But you see, (Simon points the the mantid in the drawing) these really don’t respect them at all. They really look on them as the lowest of the low. The problem is that the greys have been a subjugated race and are trying to fight back. What they’ll do is try to sabotage a program. So, for instance, on one occasion when I’m in a mantid body, and I’m walking down a corridor and there’s five humans, and a little grey standing by the side…I think, well they shouldn’t be there, you know, it’s untidy. That’s how you think when…it’s just untidy, it’s just…you know, this nice clear corridor, they shouldn’t be here. So, I say to the grey, “What are these humans doing here?” and the reply is, “Sitting down” So, my question is, “Why are these humans sitting down?” and the reply is, “Because they have sat down” See how he’s being…fighting me. So I’ll say, “Your not answering my questions. If you don’t answer them I’ll end your life. So who has given these humans permission to sit here?” and there’s just confusion in his head because he just can’t…so, I’ll say, “Return to your duties and”…etc. So, the problem with the greys is that they…
Miles: Yeah, but what state are the humans in? Are the humans in some kind of myopic…
Simon: Absolute trans. Absolute trans, just sitting there quietly, absolute trans. And what I do is I just say to them, “Just follow me” and then I call for two doctors, and then when the two doctors come I say to the two doctors, “Take these humans to a place of safety” and then I turn to the humans and say, “Follow these two doctors” But the question is, what the grey is doing, the grey is trying to, in a very subtle way, hold up the program; hold it all up. So what he’s doing is, he was supposed to have taken those five humans to some venue and he just said, “Stay there” and just left them there. And they’ll do things like that. So, there’s a very, very hate relationship between all the what I call the leading extraterrestrials, are your reptiles, and your mantids and how they view the greys. Not the original race of greys, there the ones with the small eyes. They still have a lot of humanity in them, but the greys that are manufactured; they’re the ones with the wrap-around eyes.
Joanne: Yes. What about the taller ones? You hear about the tall…
Simon: The tall greys, no, they’re very different.
Joanne: They sound like it, yes.
Simon: They are, they’re spiritual; they’re quite spiritual. When I was with this being (Simon points to the drawing) in the very early stages of 1971…
Joanne: So that’s the…(Joanne picks up the drawing of the mantid)
Simon: Yes, the mantid.
Joanne: The mummy.
Simon: Going up, what I call like a walkway, we’re walking…I’m being transported up a walkway, and where there are little greys in front of us, he says to them, “Get out of the way!” But when there’s a tall grey or a nordic, he says, “Move aside quickly” So, he’s changing his response to them, so little greys…and that’s why I really don’t respect the little greys because I’ve been…
Joanne: It’s been your experience or teaching.
Simon: Experience with it, yes, exactly.
Joanne: So, what is then, do you think, your overall job to do here is?
Simon: Well, I don’t know here. I mean I operate machines for them; machines they can’t operate when I’m in their world.
Joanne: Why can’t they operate them?
Simon: That I don’t know. These are machines that operate a portal.
Simon: So, I put my two hands onto a plate, and then the circular…two triangular rods come down, like that (Simon demonstrates) and then it’s like a portal and it will bring things through, so there was one creature that I had to transport through. I hate when I don’t know why they’ve asked me to do it. I’ve got a situation with him where I’ve seen him before and he’s not very pleasant. And he comes through and he just gives me a real un fun (inaudible) and a real nasty look. He’s got red eyes.
Joanne: Not this. (Joanne points to the drawing)
Simon: No, no, that’s the reptile. It will be the other drawing.
Joanne: Ah, right.
Simon: And he’s got red like glowing coal eyes, and I just escort him and he makes a presentation to…in a small like auditorium to maybe fifteen or twenty extraterrestrials and then he comes away, and I just operate the portal and off he goes again. So, that’s a machine I understand, only I can operate, or a human can operate, not just me; humans operate this machine.
But the other one I want to talk about was the reptile, which I refer to as, daddy. And this is the reptile that chucked us out of Eden all that time ago. And this is 1966. I know that, because I can date it, because I make reference to a television advert in the memory. And I’m collected by a creature, this one here, and passed onto another creature and as we approach, we’re underground, we’re under a cave, it’s really hot, and the creature that I’m with says, “Do you see this great lord approaching you, do you know who that is?” and I say, “Yes, of course, that’s daddy” and he said, “Then go and greet him” well this creature actually gets down on…and prostrates himself absolutely flat to this one (Simon points to the drawing) and says, “I have brought the one, my lord” and I go up to him and say, “Hello daddy!” and he says to me, “You, who call me father!” and it sounds really awful because it’s like – Oh my god, he’s going to turn on me! And he says, “For you are my son, I created you, I made you” is the word he uses. And I say, “Are you happy daddy?” and he says, “I am pleased” and I say, “It’s really hot here” and he says…I go into a tank, and I come out and I’m really cool, and he says, “The effects of this will last many hours” and I say to him, “Will you hold my hand daddy although it’s very cool?” He says, “I can hold your hand” cause I know he’s hot and if he doesn’t like cold and if…so he’s fine, he holds my hand. It’s very unpleasant this bit, I will tell you. And again, I go into a room, and it’s a dentist’s chair and it’s a circular room and I say, “Who commands here?” and he says, “Whoever sits in the chair. Would you like to command?” “Oh, yes please” cause I’m only little and I’m very polite in those days. So, I get in the chair…
Joanne: So, just remind us, what sort of age do we think…
Simon: I’ll be about six years old. Six or seven, yeah, no older.
Miles: This sounds very like the trip seat on all the Montauk chair, which would apply. Is this some sort of hypnogogic dream state your being induced into dreaming?
Simon: Well, I’ll tell you…
Miles: I mean, it’s very similar to what others…
Simon: I can bring up images in my mind, that’s what happens. He says to me, “What would you like?” He just says to me, “What would you like?” and I say, “What can I have?” and he says, “What about a pretty young female?” So, I say, “Oh, yes please. Can I have a pretty young female like prickles?” That’s the nickname…That’s the one that come to get me (Simon hands Joanne a drawing of Prickles) and she’s a Lion person, but she’s a Reptilian Lion. She’s…she says to me when she arrives, “I am a servant of the reptile race” And her name is Zu-Gar Lar-La-Lar, that’s her name, Zu-Gar-Lar-La-Lar, that’s her real name. Zu-Gar is her original Lion name, but when she defected to the reptile race, they added the Lar-La-Lar to it, so it…her name incorporates the fact that she has been subverted from one race to another. This isn’t her body this is just a costume. This isn’t part of her body, it’s just a…but it’s to represent the wings of an Alpha Draconis Reptile. And this is just a mask she wears over her face; it’s just a mask, so she can take all this off, it’s just like a uniform. So, I’m on this chair and he’s offered me this pretty young female, and I say, “Can I have here?” (Simon points to the drawing of Prickles) or, “Can I have”…this is really funny, “Or can I have the woman on the Fry’s Turkish Delight advert that’s on television?” and he says…
Joanne: As a six year old boy?
Simon: Yes, yeah. And he says to me, “Think of her and she is yours” So, I imagine her and there she is, and she’s there with a veil and everything; she’s sitting on me. And, without being too crude, he says to me, “Do you know what to do with her?” and I say, “No” and he says, “Well, I’ll enter your mind and show you what to do” So, without going into horrific detail, I have sex with her. It’s not real, it’s all holographic and…
Joanne: At six years old?
Simon: Yes, and he is instructing me how to have sex and he says, “The woman…” this is awful this, isn’t it…”The man is there to take, the woman is there to give. And he says, “The only reason that woman is put on the earth is to serve and to make replacements” That’s the word he uses, “Make replacements” And then, when we’ve had sex he says, “Now father and son have shared a female” he said, “Would you like to eat her?” and I say, “No, I…cause I’m only six, I say, “No, not if she’s going to have a baby, and if it grows I want it to look like me!” and he says, “No, she is not manifest, she is only in our minds” and he says, “Would you like to feast on flesh?” and I say, “No, I don’t really want to do that. Why do I have to do that?” and he says, “You don’t have to do it, but if you do it, we will become father and son” and I said, “But I thought we were father and son” He said, “In our law” that the reptilian law, “father must feast on vanquished flesh with his son before you are” So, I do. I eat this holographic Fry’s Turkish Delight lady, who’s screaming; it’s really realistic, and my teeth aren’t made for it, but then he says, “Enough feasting” and she just vanishes, and then he says, We are now father and son” and then he says to me, “Would you like to command armies?” and I say, “No, not really” and he says, “Well, if not to kill and conquer, what do you want?” Cause it doesn’t know any different, and I say, “Well I like to help people, show people what to do and where to go” And he says, “With your tactical mind and your ability to lead, you could win victories for us that others have not won” and he says, “Imagine going from start system to star system, and he’s just really going on…and I’m saying, “No, I’m not interested” But I’m being very, very careful. I’m not actually coming out and saying, “no” because of all the creatures, this scares…he scares the pants off me, because he’s not got an ounce of humanity in him. He’s not…these ones are really (Simon points to the drawing of the mantid) these are quite…you know, there’s spiritual in them.
Joanne: The mantids.
Simon: There’s a bit spirituality in them, but this isn’t (Simon points to the drawing of the Draco Reptilian) So, anyway, we agree to disagree, and basically, he says, “I’m going to hold the offer open to you. It will always be open” and he says, “I will treat you as my son, except in one way, you cannot rise to the succession. You cannot succeed” This was the very latest memory, because…these memories, I find them unpleasant, because these creatures are unpleasant. Compared, the others are loving, I mean the other one, the mantid, I mean, I will hug it, I will hold it and it will put its arms around me, and they’ve never rejected me. Now he’s never been nasty (Simon points to the Draco Reptilian drawing) but, you know, he’s not pleasant.
Joanne: So, what do you think, then, your relationship is now with these two very different races, let’s say. Did you have an overview of…of…
Simon: Well, they’re both working together, there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind, they’re both…it’s both part of a project, but I know for a fact that the mantids are playing a double game against the reptilians because when I’ve been on the mantid mother ship, I’ve said, “This is spying on the earth, isn’t it?” and mantid mum says, “We’re watching the earth governments” that’s what it says.
Miles: What are these mother ships like?
Simon: Um, ah well…
Miles: Can you give us a description?
Simon: Imagine a hammerhead shark. Imagine a profile of a hammerhead shark; imagine that. And then inside you’ve got…
Miles: You mean the front section of the hammerhead shark?
Simon: Think of the whole…a long tube and then that sort of front bit of a hammerhead, and that’s where the control rooms are there.
Miles: What were the size?
Simon: I don’t know.
Simon: Oh god, yeah, huge; absolutely huge. I mean, I’ve walked along the corridor where the control room is and they’re banked – (Miles trips over something) Careful Miles. They’re banked and you can… sort of layers of controls, so you’ve got five or six…
Miles: So you’ve walked along the corridor?
Simon: Yeah, you…it’s like…think of a concord. You’ve got a narrow corridor, and then there’s the cockpit at the end. So, here what you’re doing, is you’re walking along the corridor, but instead of a narrow cockpit, it’s wide like this (Simon demonstrates) and then you’ve got layers of people…people, huh…of mantids operating computers. So there’s one layer here and then there’s another layer here (Simon demonstrates) so they’re tierd. And each layer’s got his screen in front of him. What mum was saying is, yeah, you know, we’re spying on the earth governments. And I should say, that when they talk about the earth government, they talk about America. To them, there is only one government of the earth, and that’s America. So, when they talk about my government, they don’t mean in Brittan, they mean…they say the America speaks for the world, as far as they’re concerned.
Joanne: And do they say what their concerns are and do they voice those?
Simon: No, because, they, no…all they’ll say to me is…I say to him, cause I…let me get it right. I say to him, “We’re spying on the earth” and he says, “Yes, we share information” So, that is with other reptile…for the reptiles particularly; we share information. And I say to him, “But you don’t share everything” and he touches my face and says, “You are family, you understand” i.e. We are not sharing everything that we know that’s going on. So in effect, although they’re all signed up to the same overall agenda, each group is playing it’s own game.
Joanne: And what is the overall agenda, as you understand it?
Simon: The overall agenda will be to repopulate the earth with hybrids. That’s the agenda. To repopulate the earth at a time when the earth doesn’t have very many humans on it.
Joanne: Has that already begun?
Simon: It has, but it hasn’t happened in a large…a large way.
Joanne: And are either of the different races, the mantids or the reptiles involved with the governments on the ground?
Joanne: At the cold face…face to face?
Simon: The only thing that they’ve told me is that they have…how do I call it…like an intermediary. They have somebody who is an intermediary between them. I know what you’re asking, I can’t answer that, because they’ve not told me that, but all they say is, there’s an intermediary. So, if they wish…if there is a situation that occurs, rather than it going nuclear, for want of a better word, they haul out the red phone, they have a method to get to that government very quickly through somebody who can carry the dialog forward.
Joanne: Would you know that if just taking in mind the fact that you have a personal contract made, is there then a national contract, say with the American people or with the…overall…
Simon: Well, yes. That’s why they rec…yes, they’ve said to me… that’s why the government, your government, is the American government. “We have the agreement with the American government” that’s what they’ve said to me.
Joanne: Oh, so they have a contract?
Simon: Oh, god yeah. But they don’t call it a contract, agreement.
Simon: “We have an agreement with your government”
Joanne: Is this an ancient agreement or is it…?
Simon: I don’t know.
Joanne: You don’t know?
Simon: All they’ve said is, “We have an agreement with your government” that government, America, speaks for the earth.
Joanne: So, do we know what the agreement is for the American side yet?
Simon: No, I don’t know, no, no. All I know is there is an agreement and…which is binding, both sides, and it allows them to do what they do, but within that contract, everybody is doing it’s own thing.
Joann: So, when you say, “Do what they do” are we specifically talking or referencing abductions and genetic work?
Simon: Oh, god yeah! Oh absolutely, oh god yes! It’s part of the deal! Oh, yeah, because I’ve been on a ship where the…it’s another ship, it’s not the mother ship, where all that mantids are doing…we call it, timelines; human timelines. I don’t know what the mantid word is, but in the English version it would be human timelines. So when you abduct somebody, it’s hugely complex. You have to get them at thirteen seconds past…you know, it has to be absolutely right. And I’ve got drawings here where I’ve been into a craft where there have been eight, nine, ten mantids all working on computers, all calculating different people’s timelines and it’s project management, because you’re going to abduct this one in say, California at two minutes past two and at three minutes past two, you’re going to be in Japan doing this. And they project manage it all out for weeks ahead.
When I’ve had an experience where I hadn’t seen mum for two weeks, and I was really cross with him, and I said, “Why have you left it so long to come and see me?” because we see each other regularly, and he says, “I can’t always come when you want me to” And often when they’re dong their project management, something else will come up, which is more important, so it has to be slotted in. So, I’ve actually seen them working. On the ship is two layers, they then send that information up from the bottom, from the ground floor, if you like, to the next coordinators, and they’re the ones then that authorize which individuals to go and work and abduct that person. So, it’s absolutely worked out weeks ahead.
Joanne: So, it’s all about the genetics? It’s…
Simon: It’s all about genetics, it’s all about the souls, it’s all about…um…well, we…
Joanne: Tell us a bit about the souls.
Simon: The souls…
Joanne: As far as you’re aware.
Simon: As far as I’m aware, because I can only tell you what I know what I’ve seen.
Joanne: Of course.
Simon: Where they’ve had an association with a soul, it could be good or bad. So, where it’s a good association, they will work with that individual, so any individual that’s getting a reasonably okay interaction, they’re happy with that soul of that…they will know that soul for many hundreds of thousands of years. Where they’re not happy with that, that soul has fought against them at some point in history in a different body; has worked against them, thwarted them. And when that soul manifests itself, they want to isolate that person and lock them out, so they cannot then work against them.
Joanne: Do they target specific elements of genetics? For example, Celtic has often been referenced in people who’ve been abducted often as great…
Simon: Well, they’ve told me, they’ve told me…
Joanne: …preponderance of Celtic bloodlines.
Simon: They’ve told me, Celtic, what we call Romany or Gypsy…
Joanne: Oh, okay.
Simon: …and Jewish. And what they’ve said is…
Joanne: And North American Indian, I’ve also heard as well.
Simon: Well, what they’ve said is…yes, because where the bloodline is not as diluted, where people are kept within their own groups, that’s allowed them to be the closest to the original humans. That’s what they were looking for. When you’re widely, you know, diversified, you lose that, but where groups have either religious or local customs that don’t allow them to marry outside of that group, you are unintentionally, or intentionally, keeping it as pure as you can. So, they come for that because those genetics, with the genetics they worked with two thousand years ago, four thousand, five thousand years ago…and you don’t put a soul, what did Jesus say, you don’t put new wine into old wine sacks because it will split it. And when you have a soul, depending on what its importance to them is, they will actually look, and they have some…there’s some method of moving it into a body. So, my soul will always manifest in a male. It will never manifest in a female, and they will…they can track where that soul goes to, and then they might say in thirty years time, that person’s going to be a real danger to us, so we’ve got to stop them now. Or they might say, that person is really important, we don’t want them to fall into the wrong hands or what have you.
Joanne: And do these two groups also work with…are they controlled by a higher force?
Simon: I have seen an image shown to me of a pyramid of a pyramid of a pyramid of a pyramid. These are fourth dimension beings. They’re only just there (Simon grabs at the air in front of him to demonstrate) there only just…they’re not far away from us, they’re just, just there. But there are other dimensions higher and there are good and bad. And they’re being manipulated just as some of the human race have been manipulated, I have no doubt about it. But, you know, they’re into this power game, some of them. Not all of them; and of course they accept that.
Joanne: So, what is the goal then…hybridization…
Simon: The goal, the goal is to survive on the earth when the earth makes the changes. You see…
Joanne: So, is there, is there an interest then, in living on the planet?
Simon: Yes, if they can, yes. They want to experience our dimensionality, they want to be able to feel, physically feel.
Joanne: So, would you go so far as to say that it might be a takeover or was this a…?
Simon: No, no, cause they would have done that by now. You know.
Joanne: Right, okay.
Simon: They would have done…they could have done it in the stone age.
Joanne: Playing devils advocate, yes, okay.
Simon: No. They’re not allowed to do that because the law won’t allow them; the greater law won’t allow them. They’ve got to do it when they’re either invited to do it or the earth is so depopulated that it doesn’t matter anymore. And it’s going to happen one way or the other, they’re just waiting for their time.
Miles: You mentioned this earth being depopulated. I mean, we’ve got the Georgia Guide Stones, and imminent destruction, reduction of the population. Are you referring to that? Do you have any information about how that’s going to happen?
Simon: All I can tell you is that I’ve been told that there is some big traumatic times coming, but I personally am not to worry. What they said to me is, “You will always be given food, you will always be given water” And I actually said to them, “What will I do for company? Because if you’re going to”…not you kill off, “But if all the human race is going to be got rid of, what will I do for company?” and what they’ve turned to me and said is, “You already know that you are compatible with any female here” So, when I meant company, I don’t think I meant that, I think I meant friends, but they just imagined…they thought, Adam and Eve, oh company, female. They’ve said to me, there is…there are traumatic times to come, but you see, it’s all positive as well, because my own belief from the little I’ve picked up from them is that we as humans are going to be given a choice. To either stay on this earth or spiritually evolve. And if enough of us want to spiritually evolve, this aint going to happen. But if we don’t, as a race, spiritually evolve, and sort out our problems, then we are going to have some very difficult times.
Joanne: And too, by spiritually evolving, if we’re not going to be on the planet, does that mean we’ll be in a parallel dimension?
Simon: Yes. I mean, it’s not about spaceships landing, necessarily, and being loaded on them and carted off, although, that could happen because it might be that a benign race might think…I don’t like what’s going on here and offer people, but then you don’t know whether that’s a genuine offer or not. But I think what I’m looking forward to would be the opportunity to embrace love, the opportunity to embrace a higher goodness, and be able to say…
Joanne: Yes, indeed. Absolutely.
Simon: Right, I want to move on to whatever it might be, it might be the fifth dimension; I’m ready for that, I want to go.
Joanne: How often do you have interactions with your people?
Simon: I’m writing a book at the moment.
Joanne: Oh, wonderful!
Simon: Yes, I’ts called Fifty-one Years of Alien Abduction. I beg your pardon, it’s called Alien Abduction, Fifty-One Years of Extraterrestrial Contact. And at the moment I’m being left alone. They want me to write the book. Prior to that, I keep a calendar and I mark on it when it happens, so, between three times and five times a month. Between three and five times a month, and then it might be that I’ll get two or three very close together, and then a gap. And you know, they have come when my wife’s been in the room.
Joanne: And when that happens, is she disturbed at all, she’s not aware?
Simon: No, but she goes into slow motion. What happens is that there’s like a bubble that comes around and she just immediately goes into slow motion because they don’t want her involved, so they freeze time, but I’m not put into slow motion because I’m the subject of the interaction. So, she goes into very, very slow motion. Well, a good example will be when I empty the…open the dishwasher to take the pots out and I touch them and I say, “Oh, well it’s very hot, I’ll just leave the dishwasher open and let it cool down a little bit” so, I go back into the kitchen and I say to her, “Be careful because the door of the dishwasher is right down, don’t trip over it” and the very next thing I can remember is opening the dishwasher door and saying to my wife, “I’m just going to open the dishwasher door and let it cool down a bit” I put my hand on the pots and it’s stone cold. And I say, “Ah, it’s broken! The heating element must have broken, it’s not at all hot, it’s not…so, she comes up and says, “Oh god, that’s all we need” and then she says, “But you just said that” What do you mean, I just said that? “Well, you just said that” I said, “Well, how long ago did I say that?” She said, “Well, I don’t know, maybe a quarter of an hour ago” So, I look at my watch and my watch is fine for time, and I say, “Well, what did we do in the in the fifteen minutes between saying that?” and she said, “I don’t know” I don’t know what we did, I can’t remember” And whatever happens, if she’s with me, they’ll just…she just has twenty minutes or thirty minutes of – I don’t remember; I just don’t remember that. And they’ll just come and do what they do, take me away, bring me back. And on one occasion, this particular creature is a female, has looked at her and said, “Is this your human mate?” and I said, “Yes” and then this particular creature is going Huuuh. And I’m very worried that she is going to attack my human mate. And I say, “I haven’t got any children with her!” to try and placate her, and she says, “No, but you have them with me and others” and that’s fine, that’s fine. So…
Joanne: Do you know your children?
Joanne: Your other dimensional children?
Simon: I’ve got drawings. Yes, Ive…
Joanne: Let’s have a…have you gotten…
Simon: Well, yeah, but, um, if I can find them (Simon looks through his drawings) These are lion…it’s a lion being. It’s the same one that I talked to you about earlier on. The one that I had a ride on its back…
Joanne: Oh, yes!
Simon: and it was bonding. Now, they only have twins. Whenever they…whenever they have babies they just have twins, they’ll never have a single child. So, I’ve got ten with this one.
Joanne: Reminds me of a certain German gentleman.
Simon: I’ve got…if I can find it (Simon looks through his drawings) See, we should have had all this already, shouldn’t we, aye?
Joanne: Well now, we didn’t know we were going to pop into this element.
Simon: Here we are, (inaudible) There they are. I’ll just do the drawings here (Simon leafs through the drawings) I’ve got the names of three of them. (Simon points to a particular drawing and says…) and I’ve had sex with her; and that’s quite graphic, so I…you know. I’ve been taught to growl.
Joanne: Grrrr roar.
Simon: Yeah, growl. So here are the kids, now this one’s Zarka. What they did was they had…they dressed them up for me. All the girls had pink bows on their heads and all the boys had blue ties because they said you won’t be able to tell the difference between male and female, and I couldn’t and they said also because it will…it’s an honor of the fact that they are half human and half of us, so we are trying to show the human element to it. The female names all begin with Zed, so there’s Zarka and Zarouf, but the male is Ree-Karl, and they are all twins; they’re all set…groups of twins. And I say, “They are all very beautiful, my heart is happy to behold them” and the Lion Queen says to me, “It is right that you protect your offspring” This is her attendant (Simon points to the drawing) She’s actually a body guard, she’s extremely strong.
Joanne: So, Simon’s picture there of his children (Joanne holds up the drawing to show the camera) Have you had much interaction with them?
Simon: No, they don’t need me, no. It’s just a case of…they know as a human…
Joanne: You provided the genetic material.
Simon: Yeah, they’re saying to me – this is what you’ve done; here they are. But they don’t need me and I say to her, “Do they know who I am?” and she says, “Of course they know who you are, the Adam. You’ve provided them life and willingly. I either didn’t forcibly take the genetic material from me, you’ve done it willingly” and that’s very important to them. (I think what Simon meant to say here is: “I didn’t forcibly take the genetic material from you, you’ve done it willingly” I wasn’t sure if I should type what he meant or type it how he actually says it.
And she says here, “This meeting has exceeded my expectations, the bonding has never been so strong. You have a word, love, Its meaning is different with us, but I say to you, the Adam, I love you. Now we must go” So, they don’t know…they don’t feel and understand as we do, but they know the value of our words, so they’ll use them to try and communicate. So, this is the Lion Queen, who I was bonded with right back in 1963. I have been for thousands of years. Every time my soul comes into another male body, she will come through. Now this is the really tough bit to grasp. She will live maybe two or three thousand years old. She has the choice to rejuvenate her body, clone her body, but her culture isn’t. It passes to the next daughter, so she’s got say, five or six female children. When she’s ready to die, her soul is taken out of her body, the soul from the one she chooses, female, comes out and is put into storage, her soul goes into that child, that then becomes the Cat Queen, She then comes and visits me and I’ll be in another body at that point, she becomes pregnant; has two children, always twins, one is a female, before the soul enters that one, the soul in storage that she took out is taken, so in effect, the queen would always be a child of Adam and the previous one. So, that would be incest in a human, if you’re having sex with your child, but that’s a human value. We’ve got to not think of human values. It keeps it pure, it keep the genetics exactly as they want it to do. This is definitely non holographic sex because it will happens anywhere. If sex happens in front of a screen, I’m very, very, suspicious of it because it’s a holographicly produced female. But here (Simon points to the drawing) this happens, well, anywhere.
Joanne: So, do you know how many you’ve got? You’ve said you got ten with her? Have you got…(Joanne points to the drawing)
Simon: There’s her sister (Simon points to drawing) and there’s two with her sister. So, she decides who can come visit me.
I wouldn’t let him do that (Simon is referring to one of his cats) cause he’ll bite through your cable; he will bite through your cable. You shouldn’t be out.
So, the Queen decides. But that’s totally separate from the genetics for making human-alien hybrids. When often you hear people talk about hybrids, it’s a bit confusing, because there are many sorts of hybrids. You could cross a mantid with a reptilian or you could cross a grey with something else. I know what they mean – they mean human-alien hybrids.
Joanne: Yes, there’s always human hybrids.
Simon: Yes. So that’s separate from this (Simon points to the drawing) This is part of the…some sort of cultural thing that’s been going for thousands of years.
Joanne: Ah, okay. And do you know where the cat folk are from?
Simon: They’ve said to me, Orion, and one group went to Sirus or Sirius?
Simon: Sirius, one group went to Sirius, but originally from Orion and then a sister group, they call it a sister group, went to Sirius.
Joanne: Okay, okay. And so, you’re writing a book?
Simon: I certainly am, yes.
Joanne: And when do you expect to have it…?
Simon: Early next year. Sort of hopefully Spring of 2012. So, hopefully if it works out, and the chapters aren’t too long, then it will be finished before the end of the year. And I will be covering it…I know that an awful lot of people have experience of a sexual nature with extraterrestrials, they just can’t bring themselves to write it. You know, it’s cool to say to a researcher – Oh, I’ve seen a UFO or I’ve seen a littleg, but it’s quite another thing to say, I’ve had sex with an alien. And an awful lot of people have, but don’t write it because they’re just worried. I want the truth out there. This happens, it’s true, and it’s been happening for thousands of years; this is not new. This is what they do. They come down to the earth…and we are part alien anyway, because we’ve been created, we are compatible. And, you know, when I’m with her, it doesn’t seem unusual. When I look at those drawings, I think, Good God! But when you’re with them, it’s just…this is normal, this is what you do. You know, and if it has been going on for thousands of years, well, I’ll know her better than anybody else.
Simon: Because she’s the one constant thing in my life, clearly.
Joanne: What else would you say that you have gained from this association? You…
Simon: Nothing, to be honest with you. It’s all for them, isn’t it. It’s part of the deal that obviously has been coined. She calls it the bonding; they don’t have a marriage. There’s no such thing as marriage. They don’t understand about marriage, but they have a bonding. And she says, “My necessity to fulfill the bonding is very strong” So, in terms of what I get out of it, no, nothing really. I get friendship, because, you know, she’s a nice creature, but…
Joann: And do they have any input into your education, your…teaching you anything, or…?
Simon: No, not at all. It’s very one sided.
Joanne: So, that’s a whole different element to them side of you.
Simon: Oh yeah, totally different. The mantids…the mantid side is where I’ll get to see some superb technology, where I’ll go on abductions and see some things which probably are fairly horrific, but I can see why I was involved…see their spacecraft, see other creatures operate machines, have some part of the future of the earth…
Miles: Can you describe any of those in detail?
Simon: Machines? Yeah, I mean…
Miles: Or the craft or the other people?
Simon: Yeah, I mean, I’ve been on a craft where they’ve been to collect samples from the Earth and they had a…what looked like a pigeon, and the bloody thing got lose and it’s flying around the spaceship. And there are two mantids over eight feet tall plus their arms are three foot, and they’re trying to catch this poor bloody bird as it’s flying around. And then one of them goes off and gets a device, which is about so long (Simon gestures to demonstrate) with a handle; and now you know how they catch these creatures on the earth. And he holds it up; and it’s not a fan, it just draws it…
Joanne: Like a magnet, like a tractor beam.
Simon: Yeah, yeah, yeah! (Simon gestures to demonstrate) It just draws it to it, not fast, and then as he approaches, the mantid just puts it arms gently, gently…hands around it and then takes it away. So, I’ve seen them collecting specimens that have…
Joanne: Have you seen anything to do with animal mutilation or anything of that kind?
Simon: No, no. They wouldn’t show me something like that because they know I’d be very cross. I wouldn’t be happy with that at all. They won’t show me anything…that’s probably a problem, isn’t it…they won’t show me anything that I’ll get upset with; cross. So, unfortunately, I’m not seeing anything…
Miles: What are the horrific things you mentioned? Horrific things, but did they showed you some horrific things…
Simon: I was talking about… well yeah, when a hybrid goes mad. Basically, when hybrids are being created they look to be all right, but after a period of a few years they’ll just break down in the mind and they have to be actually isolated and destroyed. Because ET’s, full ET’s do not consider hybrids their equal. But what an ET…what the hybrid body will do is hold a soul, one of their souls or a human soul, and if it’s viable, it can stay on the earth, but they don’t consider them equal to themselves. So, there’s a pecking order, if you like. I’ve never…
Miles: So, this goes back to soul harvesting and soul capturing, in which case, they would appear to have control over the human race? I don’t know. (Camera focuses on one of Simon’s cats) Ah, that’s the cats.
Simon: They, they are not supposed to be involved, they’re not suppose to…they’re not allowed to do it, but they do. There’s a greater force, you can call it God, if you want, there’s a greater force that deems where souls will go, but they do, they have the technology to manipulate it and do it, yes.
Miles: Because there are very strong connections now with certain German research during WWII where soul manipulation, soul splicing was happening…(inaudible)
Simon: Well, they’ve spoke to me of Hitler, if that’s what you want to hear about. I mean, they’ve actually…when on one of these experiences, I was taken up on a very tall tower. Under the Earth is a cavernous thing, under the Earth, where the reptiles are, and I was taken up on a tower and there are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of hybrids underneath me and I’ve been taught to raise my hands up like this (Simon gestures to demonstrates) and when I do that, then the hybrids raise their hands up and they say to me…they call me Father Parent. And I was going up on this thing, I said to mum, “God, this is what the Roman Emperors or Hitler must have felt seeing all these thousands of people in front of you” And on the word, Hitler, he turns to me and says, “You are correct”
When you are dealing with a little grey, you have a certain head movement, as a human, you must use when a grey’s…little grey’s giving you problems, and it’s the Orion group who teach this, and Hitler was taught that and he…
Miles: Can you demonstrate those head movements?
Simon: Yeah, I’ll do it for you. (inaudible)…my glasses. Let’s say for instance, I’m talking to a person, and I want to show that I’m totally disinterested and I don’t value them. I will go (Simon turns his head to the left and down) Like that. Now that spookes out a little grey, a little grey can’t cope with that because, although greys don’t have emotions, they are…they have programs in their heads, and when a human or a creature does that to them, they’ll go into some sort of shock state, and it allows you to dominate them. But it’s very useful in a debate with another human, if you’re doing it half way while they’re speaking and you make that head movement, it just completely throws them. And Hitler…
Joanne: Hmmm, yes, it’s cutting off communication, isn’t it?
Simon: Yeah. I can’t describe it, it’s more than…yes, but there’s something very subtle about it and Hitler was taught that, Hitler was taught to do that and he was…
Joanne: By whom?
Simon: The reptiles, I presume; I presume. Because what I’ve been told is that they had contact with Hitler before the war.
Joanne: Your talking about the reptilians or…?
Simon: Well, the mantids said to me, the masters, and I think that’s the reptiles, I think that’s the reptiles, but they didn’t say reptiles, they said, the masters, and I think that means the reptiles. But it doesn’t mean that the reptiles came down. The reptiles could have sent an agent down, it could be the greys. Because the greys predominantly work with the masters. What I will tell you is, all the mantids have chips, implants in their left shoulders, which the reptiles put in there. The mantids agreed to it. I have…this hand I call it my tech hand (Simon holds up his left hand) and this hand I call my emotional hand (Simon holds up his right hand) I’ve got several drawings where I put my left hand on the shoulder of a mantid and I can then communicate with the computers. So, there’s one drawing on the mantid mother ship where I want to know what’s going on, so I walk up behind a pilot mantid who’s working on a console and I put my left hand on his left hand shoulder. And in the drawing, I turn around to mum and I say, “Oh, it’s busy down there today!” and he says, “Yes, there is a lot going on today” So, that allows me to communicate. So, the reptiles are wonderful, if I can use the word, at micro surgery, at nano technology. Implants, they’re brilliant at that, they can’t be beaten. So, the mantids, who are great at other things, say, “Well, we’ll have one of those, please. Well have that” Because the mantids work with humans. A lot of the abductions, the mantids oversee it and so they need this piece to allow you to communicate. So, I’ve never been taught to fly a spaceship; I couldn’t fly one, but I can feel it. Computers…their computers are living, I can’t describe it, they’re like having a person in a room. If you can open a conversation with it…
Joanne: By physical interaction.
Simon: Yeah, it’s like talking to a great Aunt or something. They don’t have emotion, but they’re friendly; hard to describe. So, I would think when they made the masters, I would think they are meaning the reptile group, because it was a negative influence, it was a negative influence, and that was for it’s own purpose. (The end of this portion of the video)
THE CASE OF THE STRANGE POST CARD
Simon: Well, I was a Labor Counselor in Hackney for seven years.
Miles: And did you go to face a card and it reached a…newspaper.
Joanne: For seven years?
Simon: Yeah, okay. Can you see that there if I hold it up? This January, went to a local card shop that had opened. It’s called The Card Factory, and I went with my wife, and it’s only been opened a little while, so everybody went down to buy discounted wrapping paper and literally standing in the middle of the shop because I don’t like crowds, and I turn to my left, and there’s a carousel with some cards on it and that card is slap bang in front of me. I snatch it off the carousel and I say to my wife, “What is my picture doing on a birthday card?” and she says, “What?” and I say, “What is my picture doing on an f-u-c-k-i-n-g birthday card?” and she looks and says, “I don’t know!” and I’m in such a shock that I actually go to the young lady on the till and I buy it and I come home and I just sit here all day until six o’clock at night staring at this card, thinking what the hell is going on!” Because I never gave permission for that, and I don’t even remember it. And I think, hold on a minute, there must be other of these cards and I need to speak to my solicitor. So, the next morning, I went down…I went to see my solicitor and although he was consulting, his assistant went and spoke to him and he said, “Well, first thing, you need to do is get all these cards” and he said, “Unfortunately, I can’t help you because it’s an intellectual copy wright. There are only three or four solicitors in the North East who will do it, but here’s a list”
So, I went across to the shop, and I thought, god, supposing there’s a hundred of them, they’re one pound, thirty-nine each! Maybe they’ve got a thousand of them! So, I said to the young lady, “How many of these have you got?” so she says, “I’ll go in the store up and I’ll have a look” So, I went sort of waiting for her, crossing my fingers and she said, “I’ve got seven” And I thought, oh god, they’ve sold all the rest!” They’ve only got seven now, so I’ll buy them and then I put the envelopes on the…she said, “Oh, don’t you want the envelopes?” I said, “No, because I only want the cards, that’s me” So, she looks at the cards and says, “Oh, yes!” and I said, “Well, I’m not happy about it, cause I didn’t give permission” so, she’s obviously – Oh dear, alright.
So, what I did was I phoned up the actual company that sold the cards, The Card Factory, and a very helpful managing director, I spoke to him, he said, “Look, I’ll just go away and check it” came back and said, “I’ve gone through the paperwork and I’m pleased to tell you that we’ve followed the code of conduct. We bought this picture from another company called Paper House. Here is the phone number for the managing director. So, I phoned Paper House, same thing, went to check his records, came back, “Yes” he said, “We bought this picture from a company called Photo Library” but he said, “You’ll have a problem because they’re in America” I said, “Alright, okay” So, got a hold of Photo Library, very unhelpful; “Alright we need to know who you say you are” I said, “Okay, how do we do that?” So, he said to me, “You tell me when that picture was taken” So, I said, “Well, looking at the picture, I think It was taken in 1998” and he said, “Oh, good enough, it was taken in 1997. You are who you say you are. What we need now is some more proof” So, I had some election leaflets when I stood for reelection around that time, of me on posters and leaflets, and I emailed that to him. He said, “Oh, alright, okay, well what I’ll tell you is that the name of the person here (Simon points to himself on the card) is not your name. So, I said, “Right, are you telling me that’s not me?” and this is a killer, he said, “Oh no, I’m not saying that’s not you, just the name I’ve got for that person is not you. It was taken by somebody who lives in Texas; a Texas photographer” So, I said, “Right, okay, where do we go from here?” and he said to me, “We don’t go anywhere, because English law doesn’t touch us. We are not subject to your laws in England” and further research has shown that most photos of birthday cards are are all held in America, is Seattle the company. So, anyway, I phoned up the other companies and said, “Look, I’m really unhappy about this” and he said, “Oh, don’t worry” he said, “We’ve withdrawn the card, we’ve withdrawn it” and I said, “Oh, is that because I’ve made a complaint?” he said, “No, no. It was a test run” “It was a test run and we’ve withdrawn it” and I said, “How many cards did you make?” He said, “Seven” I said, “You’re telling me all you made was seven cards?” I said, “I’ve got seven cards!” He said, “Oh, you’ve bought our entire stock!” I said, “How can you possibly know if a card is going to be successful if you only print seven?” He said, “Well, I’m only the managing director, I don’t worry about that side of it” so, I said, “Okay, how many shops did you send it to, these seven?” He said, “Oh, one store” and I said, “And which store is that?” “Oh your store in Whitby” I said, “Your telling me then, that the picture with my face on it and you only print seven cards and you only send to one store, which is the store where I live in Whitby. and do you know what he said to me? “It’s a small world, isn’t it?” And I knew he knew much more than he was letting on. So, fine, okay, I’m not going to get anywhere with that. Seven emails later, to Photo Library in America, no reply. Well, to solve this, I’m going to go to the newspapers, so I did. I went and told them the story and I thought, well they might do like page two, but it got front page, big picture, they came to the house, big picture of me.
The reason I did that was I wanted pressure on the American company. I wanted the newspapers to phone up that company in America and say, “What’s all this about?” and they did! They phoned them up and I got the editor of the newspaper phoning me up and he said, “Off the record, when somebody says to us, “No comment” we wonder what your hiding. He said, “You’ve come to us Mr. Parkes” he said, “We’ve checked into you, you, your background, we know your telling the truth” He said, “We’ve been on to them, all they’ll give us is, “No comment” and he said, “Do you want us to take this nationally?” And I said, “No, because I have an inkling of what this is about” and he said, “I understand what your saying to me” he said, “We do come across things like this sometimes” he said, “You’re probably being very wise” So, in short, it doesn’t say…it says Sir Geoffrey was about to discover that bears don’t just shit in the woods. It’s not saying to me if you shit on us, we’ll shit on you. It’s not saying that. What it’s saying is, we know what you’re up to. But I don’t know what I’m up to. That’s been identified as a phantom faux Rolls Royce.
Joanne: All right.
Simon: Okay. I have no recollection of ever being in there; who was here? (Simon points to the picture on the card)
Joanne: Okay, well that is one of those interesting anomalies. Hence, it’s been called anomalous by, anomalous in our title, so thank you very much.
Simon: Thank you very much indeed.
Joanne: Thanks very much Simon.